And if Rosenberg’s cocaine habit is a personal failing, just know he wasn’t alone on that count. But, for all his kvetching, he stays loyal Tommy Vercetti and CJ – which is more than you can say for most of your friends in these games. The thing is, he’s usually too busy complaining about his lot in life to be of much use in front of a judge. Ken Rosenberg - GTA: Vice City & GTA: San AndreasĮvery respectable criminal needs a lawyer and Ken Rosenberg is one of the best. They also speak in accents so thick some may need subtitles to understand them – but, like all GTA games, the subtitles are written phonetically so you may not get much help there. In your missions for them, you discover that they’re hopelessly addicted to the drug “love juice,” and they’re being stalked by a murderer. They even have an album called “Fat Chicks All Day and Night,” for crying out loud.
Led by the irrepressible Jezz Torrent they’re a rambunctious bunch of “drunken Scottish bisexuals” who manage to be more absurd than Spinal Tap. Like the rest of Vice City, this hair metal band is straight out of the ’80s. These days Lazlow is a vain, whimpering D-lister clinging onto what’s left of his fame, but he’s just as funny. However, his career – which began as a meek intern alongside Cousin Ed on V-Rock in ’80s Vice City – has just about petered out by the time we get to the events of GTA Online and GTA V (where we meet Lazlow in the flesh for the first time). Lazlow is a background character in every GTA game since GTA III, hosting a large variety of radio shows across three decades and a variety of cities. Lazlow - Basically Every GTA Since GTA III That’s why we can’t help but root for him. He takes a lot of crap from his older brother, and can’t ever make things work out quite the way he wants them to. But he somehow manages to be an endearing presence in GTA IV. Every other word out of his mouth is “bro,” and to stay strong he injects bull shark testosterone before working out, which gives him a raging temper. On the surface, Brucie is not a very likable guy. Brucie Kibbutz - GTA IV, GTA V, GTA Online
She freaks out, does a bunch of blow, and starts shooting people. When she thinks the fuzz is onto her, however, her flaws start to show. She’s a serious business woman who puts up with no nonsense from stoners like the Rastafarian Little Jacob when they cross paths. Not only is she a well-connected dealer, but she has the distinction of being one of the less cartoonish characters in GTA IV. If you want to make a professional-grade drug deal in Liberty City, Elizabeta Torres is your woman. But, with a career criminal like Michael for a father, can you really blame him? 14.
Michael’s son Jimmy is no role model but he’s still pretty hilarious in GTA V despite regularly being an awful, entitled brat.Ī lazy, pot-smoking gamer with daddy issues (like many characters in the series, come to think of it), Jimmy actually does seem to try his best – even though that usually results in spectacular screw-ups that his dad has to rescue him from. Maybe he’s just mad she spelled his name with an “i” instead of a “y.” 15. This weighs so heavily on Capriani that he calls into Chatterbox FM to complain about her on talk radio. Voiced by Michael Madsen this mafioso works in his mother’s restaurant, where he endures her constant nagging. That said, Toni Cipriani is probably the most memorable character in the game (he even led his own prequel later on in 2005’s Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories). Most cutscenes just explain your next mission and nothing more (it doesn’t help that protagonist Claude didn’t have any speaking lines). Grand Theft Auto III broke new ground in terms of open-world gaming, but its script doesn’t devote much time to character development. But since she’s voiced by the charismatic Miss Cleo, a famous real-life telephone psychic, it’s hard to hold it against her. Instead of hiring Tommy Vercetti in the traditional criminal manner, she feeds him voodoo potions that make him blindly agree to everything she asks him to do – which mostly consists of messing with the Cubans, a group Tommy had just been working with. As the leader of the Haitian gang in Vice City, she runs her business without any apparent moral guidelines.
In a series filled with shady characters, Auntie Poulet is one of the shadiest. His left one, that is, (although, in the cutscene, he actually blew off his right arm let’s blame that one on too much boomshine, shall we?) 17. In a twist of fate, Phil’s punishment for providing arms to the scum of Vice City was to lose one of his own. Arms dealer and boomshine entrepreneur Phil Cassidy has featured in a quartet of GTA games but it’s his Vice City appearances that are the most memorable, largely thanks to infamous Hollywood loose unit Gary Busey providing the VO.